Translation review: [Hadena] Shining Hearts – Shiawase no Pan 01
The karaoke effect for the opening is nice, just somehow the top half of the video is always full of light colors, so most of the time it’s completely unreadable. The translation is okay, and though I wasn’t paying that close attention, I only spotted one mishearing (hibiku, not iku).
Not “on my back”, but “the sun and the wind”. (The font is way too small by the way.)
“Bliss” or “happiness” would serve better.
The second half is wrong. He asks how come all three of them are there.
Let me help: that’s called a bakery.
Am I really watching a Hadena release? This quality is something I’ve never seen from them before.
The detail with 余分 (yobun, extra, surplus) is missing.
This should be two lines (said by two girls as well). It’s two separate explanations.
He is the leader, but there is no word of any kind of council.
The ending is nice too.
I’m confused. This is actually a good release. The translation is okay (the language of the show is as simple as possible, so this shouldn’t even be surprising), and an editor could easily fix those mistakes too. The English is weird here and there, and I can’t really say that it flows well (some lines are very out of character), but there are some really good lines too. I don’t know if this is one of the cases when some mysterious anonymous translator helped out Hadena for one episode, so I guess I’ll give the second episode a go as well when it comes out. If the editing was better, I could even call this script great…