Translation review: [Anime-Koi] Kamisama Hajimemashita 01
The opening translation is very liberal, but at least it’s poetic. Somewhat.
The sign is mistranslated. 万馬券 (manbaken) is not “1000 horse power”, it means to get lucky at horseracing. He says if he can get lucky at horseracing, they won’t have to worry about the debt.
Just “he” would do. In general the translation is quite steady though.
In this case “familiar” would be a better choice.
“The dark corners of this world, like the shadow of overgrown weed or the depths of wells, are where the entrance of the other world is.”
Just “stick it onto something”, not “point it at your foes”.
Not “one of them”. “Say it and he’ll help you.”
There are a few mistakes (the one about the netherworld’s entrance being the biggest) and a bunch of minor bugs (such as serious need to check those lyrics) not worth mentioning, but in general it’s okay.