Translation review: [Commie] Shinsekai Yori 01
A bunch of lines just feel so weird. The translation is correct, but the phrasing is just… weird.
I really like “faze cat”, but this line again is weird. It sounds like she can see it closing in on them, while she’s just afraid of it, like how people are afraid of ghosts in the dark.
It’s not wrong, but I think it’s risky to translate this word considering there’s a many-pages-long explanation of the possible origins of the word, all giving it different meanings. It’s definitely more than just a slug.
You know, the city of Kamisu in Ibaraki prefecture actually exists. Ibaraki with a “k”.
Just look at the book, the first part is titled 若葉の季節 (Season of Fresh Leaves). Not “fallen leaves”.
That’s a very Japanese way of romanization and definitely not the way Commie uses in other releases. (It should be either Syoujyou-ji or Shoujou-ji – I personally prefer the later because it actually reflects the pronunciation and not just how it’s usually typed in.)
That’s a cool translation for it, but I’m not sure if people can actually understand it. (I had to look it up at least…)
This line is mistimed.
I can see why it’s translated as “cursed power” (the kanji do mean that), but in the context of this series it’s not a right choice. “Cursed” has negative connotations in English, while this power isn’t considered anything bad in the world of the series.
I’m pretty sure they’re saying “cute” again, and not “cool”. But I really appreciate that the background voices are translated, and the other lines are done well too.
No. He’s just calling her (spirit of blessing) lazy.
To be honest, I have no idea what the mask is saying. I didn’t point it out in Hadena’s case, because their guesslation fit well. I can see how this translation could be correct as well, so I’m not gonna say a word.
It’s gouma. I don’t like leaving these ones untranslated, because they have relevant meanings, and I’d say that your average Japanese understands them too.
Now this is cool.
I see what you did there.
After the first apple metaphor the story of the lyrics is quite clear, so it’s a shame it doesn’t get through in the translation. (And I really dislike the “o” in that font.)
The translation is accurate (just as accurate as UTW’s), but sometimes the phrasing is so awkward I had to read the line a few times to get the point of it. More careful editing could do wonders with this release. The translation is great though, hardly any bugs.