Script Review: [Hatsuyuki] Fate/Zero – 01

I hope this is the last I’ll see of F/Z.

NicoNico is the mom, Commie is Rin, UTW is Sakura, and Hatsuyuki represents the monstrous worms inside Sakura.

r/a/ge level: 10/100. Hatsuyuki is usually terrible, so no one pays them any mind.

Honorifics are present. Romaji, kanji, and English lyrics are available with SUGOI karaoke effects.

I have a feeling that Hatsuyuki just ripped UTW’s script and edited from that. Considering UTW barely changed any lines, it’d be hard to notice, and because of that, it doesn’t really matter. But here is the album containing all the screenshots I took.

Some of the screenshots show a slight improvement over the original/UTW, whereas others were made to be worse. Because Hatsuyuki didn’t put any effort into their release, I won’t either. Here’s my critique:

1.) Hatsuyuki actually changed “further/additional” to “even more.” Sadly, I now realize witnesses is redundant and should be “people.”

2.) “Your Highness” is a step up from “my king” or “King.”

3.) Trowel is stupid. Don’t change what isn’t broken.

4.) Incompetent editor. Why would you capitalize “mongrel”? It’s clear Hatsuyuki’s editor(s) knows something about editing dialogue, considering some of the changes were for the better, but not enough to make an impact on the whole show.

5.) “Shut the hell up… you monster!” “You” shouldn’t be capitalized.

6.) Mister Bluebeard > Mr. Bluebeard.

7.) Coolness is kind of better, I guess. It’s a noun at least.

What I liked:

Some lines were improved. The dialogue is essentially NicoNico anyway, so everything’s solid and understandable.

What I didn’t like:

Despite some good changes, a lot of mistakes were overlooked because the editor just sucks, or he didn’t pay attention to detail.

Overall Grade: 3 routes… out of 5.

This entry was posted by brainchild.

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